Serious Tunas, Sneaky Mothers, and Feral Canaries
by 27tunafiamma72
Summary: What would be the best course of action for dealing with stupid people who sue fragile mothers? Pit them against the said fragile mother of course! They wouldn't underestimate them again, ever. AU, 1827. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
**I'll state this now, I am pulling your leg. Have fun~ :3**

* * *

"Could you repeat that again, please?" Tsuna asked the ruffled man in front of him, without changing his expression from the nonchalant deadpan. He briefly wondered why he was conversing with him, when his previous reason of _'let everyone speak and have a chance'_ came back to him.

Maybe it was people like these, with an over excess of stupidity, was why the newly established rule had never gone through. He added grimly, it did save a lot of headaches and paperwork. Which, in fact, was rather smart of his predecessors.

Tsuna's attention snapped back when the man before him blew up in a rage. "Your mother, like I said before, is _rude_ and _uncaring_! I am going to _sue_ her!"

Why the heck was he listening to this man again? Ah yes, the reason of headaches it was. He straightened up a bit, and let out a small breath. "Can I ask why are you telling _me_ this? Don't you usually go to the _police_ for these kinds of things?"

"You are the _flippin'_ President of Italy!" The man growled, growing purple. "And the man that is responsible for all court trials!"

Wasn't Kyoya supposed to be the head of that task? Or was it Mukuro? Tsuna thought grimly, suppressing the urge of massaging his aching temples. Why was he even in this position? That answer was quite clear to him, since it practically originated way back in time, that brought a well suited man, who had an obsession of suits and bitter coffee with the unlikely name of Reborn, to his door ten years ago, giving him an abusive tutor-student relationship; stating that he will become the next President of Italy.

Why not Japan? Well, that was just contrary to his tutor's plans. Also because he wasn't given anymore explanation than blood lineage being righted. Then again, wasn't England supposed to have that sort of hierarchy?

"Very well then, I'll state this now, sir, that my mother is a pleasant woman with the morals of a saint come down from heaven," He replied evenly. "so saying that she is rude and uncaring, is stepping over the line."

" _Every_ man says that about their mothers!" The man spat. It made Tsuna wonder what had gotten under his skin.

"Then you must know of the fact that she and I are of Japanese descent?" He inquired, looking at the other evenly. Of course he was part Italian, but he didn't need to know that.

"Then that just means that _all_ Japanese are rude and uncaring!" Tsuna wondered how this man could be such a racist.

Holding his tongue, he let his thoughts piece them together. This man, who practically _bulldozed_ his way into his office, _demanded_ a law suit against his _own mother_ for being a low class _plebeian_. Furthermore, it turns out that he is rather racist and sexist in his laws that is made in his central organ, where the brain is supposed to be. God forbid that it was an empty cavity, that surely be a sign for the apocalypse rising.

Letting out another breath, Tsuna steered his thoughts back onto more pressing issues. "If you so strongly suggest for this trial, then I guess it can't be helped,"

"You're agreeing to this?!" His secretary, Hayato, turned to him in shock. The silver haired man was a loyal friend and partner, who always made his duties top priority, alongside making his life as comfortable with all the stress hanging down on him.

Tsuna nodded, breathing in as he stood up from his seat. "Of course, he'll just have to see who he is dealing with; first-hand experience."

He gave the purplish man a smile, that oozed sweetness. "Then maybe he'll understand that a Japanese resident, a _woman_ , no less, isn't the type to be bashed with no reason."

He gave instructions to Hayato, to dismiss the man before him, and let himself slump back into his seat. What was the world coming to?

Flipping his phone, he speed-dialed his mother's cell, one that he had gifted her when he saved enough money from his part-time job, and allowed the rings to soothe him. It wasn't long when the receiver was picked up, and Tsuna let a smile stretch across his face. "Kaa-san, I am booking your flight to Italy, on a business week... Yes, the sales here are exceptional... Good, be ready in three days, I'll send over Lambo to pick you up... Yes, yes, he's doing well... And everyone else too... I'll gather them when you arrive."

He ended the call and dialed another number on speed-dial. "Hana, could you do me a favor?"

-o-

"Tsu-kun!" A young looking brunette woman rushed over to Tsuna, embracing him. Tsuna gave a small smile reciprocating the hug, his mother's age was hardly given away, until her aging lines were looked at properly. Which was funny, because Reborn would use make-up to hide his own and look flawless at the same time. "It's so good to see you again!"

"Same to you, kaa-san," Tsuna agreed. "however, I have some bad news that will take place in a couple of days, during your stay."

"I already know, dear," Nana let go of her, now grown, son, in order to step back. She allowed herself a small smile, being a proud mother was quite satisfying. And to think that she was worried of all the bullying stumping her son's growth...

Tsuna blinked, confused at what he was hearing. "You do?"

Nana giggled lightly. "Hana-chan told me all the details!"

He should have known. Tsuna gave a sigh, running a hand through his unruly hair that he had been accursed with since birth. "Hana will always be Hana, regardless of being married to nii-san,"

"You can't underestimate women, Tsu-kun!" Nana then lectured him, on the spot, about the capabilities of women, and how they would stab their man ten-fold, if treated wrongly. This was all to Tsuna's exasperation. She then waved the lecture off, for the more important matters at hand. A small frown forming on her clear face. "Though, why would I be accused if I weren't even in the country?"

"The man has some terrible racism and sexist issues, he obviously needs to know the strength of women, much less the Japanese." Tsuna summed up the whole problem. "So I decided that it would be best if he would experience it first-hand."

Nana hummed. "I see, he's a very naughty child then."

Tsuna could only shake his head. "Now let's head over to my house, and get you settled,"

"Sounds good! I'm already very tired from the long trip!" Nana agreed.

-o-

"Order in the court! Order in the court!" The resounding sound of the amplified mallet was a headache that Tsuna didn't want to deal with. Ever. He of course had to make a whole bunch of exceptions for this trail that his very own mother was being accused of. It couldn't be extended like a normal case, because that would take too long, hence the whole day would be taken as one official trail, with an extra amount of breaks than per usual. He ignored the coming headache in order to pay attention to the trail. "The accused, Mrs. Sawada, Nana, please stand!"

The whole of the court was jam-packed, Tsuna observed. Most, no doubt, were here because the President's mother was being accused, and not even half of them were Journalists and Reporters for big time news. He spotted Kyoya on the far end of the room, leaning on the wall, while keeping an eye from there. Mukuro, he also noticed, was on the opposite side of the court room, across from Kyoya, doing the same. Both, he acknowledged, looked good in their police uniforms. "Do you swear on the Bible that you will be saying the truth, and nothing but the truth!"

Tsuna cringed slightly at the booming voice. This wasn't going to get any better with all the speakers on boom... Who was in charge of such things anyway?

"President, are you sure your mother will be able to handle a trail?" Hayato, sitting on his right, whispered in hushed undertones, careful to not let anyone near hear. Tsuna was certainly thankful for that, but, however worried his secretary was about his kin's wellbeing, Tsuna couldn't help but give him a disappointed look.

"My mother can look after herself, and is rather capable when doing so, Hayato," He softened up a bit. "but thank you for worrying."

"Tsuna," He turned to his other companion, a tall raven haired man, with a slight tan on his features. Takeshi, being a natural jock back in his school days, was hired for the bodyguard position, he was also an awaiting father who was married to three months pregnant Kyoko. "doesn't your mother not know Italian?"

"Always the observant one, Takeshi," Tsuna answered amused. "but imagine my surprise when she tells me that Reborn had taught her Italian years ago."

"You mean that Reborn-san-!" Hayato was at a loss for words, adding to Tsuna's amusement.

"Yes he did." He nodded.

"I swear on the Bible that I will speak of the truth and only the truth." Nana's clear voice rang out, in flawless Italian, causing a small uproar among the Italian residents in the court house.

"Though, I can't remember when he started." Tsuna mused in thought, allowing the court session to drone on in the background.

"Is that why," Hayato paused in order to speculate his question before wording it carefully. "I don't see your father, President?"

Tsuna's gaze grew flinty for a small second, before closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Mom never divorced dad, if that's what you mean."

He sighed, gazing at the straight back of his mother tiredly. He murmured under his breath. "I don't know how she copes with a man such as him,"

If either Hayato or Takeshi heard him, they didn't say anything, instead letting it go. Talking about his father was a very touchy subject for Tsuna, and he preferred it that no one would bring it up.

"That is impossible," Nana spoke up, shattering the silence upon the trio. "because I was never here to give unnecessary spite to this man."

"Then why is it that he insists that he saw you last thursday, pick-pocketing his wallet in front of him!"

"If I was doing such a dirty act, then I would have been taken to the police straight away! Why wasn't I? I live in _Japan_ , and this has happened in _one night_ , whereas it will take an estimated eleven hours of flight to just get here!"

"I seriously hope that the judge is not a sexist in his routine life," Tsuna muttered, frowning at the statements being tossed from one person to another.

"It is his job," Takeshi pointed out.

"Jobs and the daily life are two different things," Tsuna shook his head. "and his statements seem much too strong for a mere job of a judge."

The trio then kept silent, watching what the banter held on store. "Why do you keep insisting that I was the one that stole his wallet? Have you even checked his _person_ for the object?"

"It is my job to bring the truth to light, Mrs. Sawada, now be honest."

"The guy is a sexist," Tsuna growled, displeasure emanating from him in waves.

Both of his companions, on either side of him, chose not to say anything to that statement. It wouldn't lead to anything good; that logic came from first-hand experience of the brunette exploding in curses that were never meant to be brought out into broad daylight, when he had been confronted with a situation that involved Kyoko's, Haru's, I-Pin's, and Bianchi's abilities as independent woman. There was no doubt that M.M.'s dignity would also be protected the same way.

"Then tell me," The edge in Nana's tone indicated that it was far from over. "why did you make me swear upon a _Bible_ then? Is it just for show? So you can look good in front of everyone here?"

The purple look on the Judge told of the displeasure of the man. Nana turned towards her accuser, her eyes going flinty. The man felt like he was in the presence of the President instead of a mere Japanese housewife, but hid his concern strategically. "And you, aren't you ashamed of pinning a blame on a woman who is not even halfway across the world! The young people these days have no manner of courtesy! Do you think that I, with such an elder age, is able to even make an act of crime? Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl!"

The accuser grew pale, much to Tsuna's pleasure and amusement. No one made him proud like his mother did, but that didn't exclude his, by extension, family.

Before she could be interrupted by the, fuming looking, judge, Nana continued her rant. "Don't you even think about the stress you put on a frail woman's shoulders! Adding to the stress of one without a husband by her side, like a marriage is _supposed_ to promise! You could even bring up my _blood pressure_ with all this _nonsense_!"

The one-sided argument then took a turn for bewilderment. Nana had somehow changed her rant into one where her pent up stress was let loose, slipping in a curse, and a shameless comment on how men were such incapable individuals, who just lay around the house and drinks all day until they pass out. The whole of the court house was quiet, allowing Nana's soft voice to bounce of the polished marble walls.

Tsuna sat there, thinking about how all the papers will have a content on something similar to _President's mother dissing the whole of the male population_ , while Nana continued to jab nonexistent arrows at both the Judge and her accuser. Tsuna paid no mind at either of the content of Nana's rant or the pale color that had been adopted by most of the court's population, including his companions, instead he was already nursing a headache thinking on what the social media would host from this second to who knows how long.

His attention was brought back by reality's forces when the surprising announcement was made by the Judge. "Alright! Mrs. Sawada, Nana, is innocent! She is not to be held against any other charges in the far future, and will have no charges put upon her account!"

The mallet that swung down, giving another amplified crack, adjourned the whole of the trail altogether. Tsuna blinked, looking down at his watch to figure out the time. "Oh, just in time for the first break, how convenient."

-o-

"Kaa-san, be sure to travel safely," Tsuna started. "I don't want to gain the risk of a heart attack, if I have a phone call from the agency."

"My, Tsu-kun has grown so protective!" Nana giggled, waving off the matter. Tsuna's frustration was squashed for the fourth time, as he huffed in annoyance. "Don't worry! Your father is rather good at housework now!"

"That's not what I meant," Tsuna pouted. "but that is a good thought, with him making a huge effort after his retirement,"

Nana hummed in agreement. She then remembered the package she had in her purse. "Ah! I almost forgot, Tsu-kun, could you please give this to Kyoya-kun? He would be moody if this didn't reach him."

Tsuna accepted the package, reassuring his mother that he would complete the task for her, despite the dreaded feeling crawling into his stomach. Still, he was careful in not showing his disappointment outright. He just hoped it wasn't something that was a harm to him.

The idea did seem a bit absurd, but he lived in the absurdity since Reborn had entered his life.

* * *

 **Omake A**

Tsuna opened the door to his house, to be taken aback at how crowded the place seemed. He blinked, taking everything in. "What are you guys doing at this hour?"

"President!" Hayato exclaimed, looking slightly... aghast? Tsuna frowned at the thought. "How could you not tell us when your mother arrived!"

He blinked in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"You said that she would be here tomorrow," Takeshi cleared up Hayato's statement, much to the chagrin of of the latter.

The frown returned again. "That doesn't explain why you all are here, though,"

"Hahi!" A young brunette woman, with a small bulge on her stomach, spoke up, gaining the attention within the large room. "It wouldn't be fair to leave us out, Tsuna-san, when your mother comes to Italy from a long trip!"

"Haru's right!" Tsuna turned to the light brown haired young woman, her bulge a bit more bigger than the former's, beside Haru. He raised a brow, prompting her to go on. "When a woman comes along, tired and stressed, you have to indulge her with some girl time!"

"I agree with Kyoko and Haru," Tsuna's brown orbs turned to to the hot pink haired woman. Hayato's half-sister, Bianchi. She was engaged to his tutor, and was a week pregnant, hence no bulge being apparent on her slim figure. The marriage, he assumed, was probably going to be soon with a child on the way.

"M.M. would say the same, haha!" Takeshi laughed. His statement was followed by the girls agreeing, and to be honest, if the red haired woman was present, Tsuna agreed that she would, no doubt, have a similar answer, if not worded differently.

However, she and her husband, Ken, had gone off on their honeymoon. Where it was, he had not a single idea... But it seemed that Mukuro knew, since he and his wife, Chrome, a mother expecting twins in the next month, had gone there on their honeymoon as well.

Speaking of the said man, Tsuna realized, he didn't seem to be in the room. He pushed the thought away in favor of the current issue. "But you guys could have come tomorrow,"

"That isn't possible, Tsuna," A dark brunette woman spoke up, entering the lobby where everyone was gathered. "your mother is to be facing a trail in two days, placing stress on her is the least thing you want to do."

"I agree," Ryohei nodded, coming in after his wife. Shoichi, Byakuran, Spanner, and Giannini placed their agreements onto the pile.

Now this was starting to get underhanded, Tsuna suppressed a twitch, analyzing his situation. It wasn't often when everyone decided to go against him all at once. He let out a frustrated sigh, resisting the urge in smacking his palm on his head in utter exasperation. "Okay then, I want to know how you guys knew my mom was here in the first place. The only person who should have known is Lambo, since he was the one who dropped her off at my office."

The occupants in the room exchanged glances with each other. Tsuna had an inkling on how the spill happened, and Chikusa only confirmed his guess. "Lambo called up everyone, letting us know that your mother had landed safely."

"And where is he now?" Tsuna asked.

"He went with I-Pin to buy a cake for the celebration." He should have known. His driver was the kind that breathed the party air. His fiancé, I-Pin, was also the celebratory kind too, though more traditional.

He looked behind him, having his heart nearly drop at the empty space. He caught a glimpse of a suitcase rolling in the far hall and relaxed. Well, he sighed, I can't seem to win this one. "Alright then, do as you please,"

The cheer was cut short when he added to his sentence. "but if I find anything broken, smashed, burned, or something that doesn't fit, I'll be handing you the according paperwork. Don't even think about running away from the responsibility,"

He then gave them all a smile that clearly read he would hunt them down if he found any of the sort. "okay?"

The group nodded.

Satisfied, Tsuna gave them a nod in return. "Have fun~"

* * *

 **Omake B**

The pleasantly smiling brunette woman allowed her gaze to take in the young handsome man before her. The said man only returned the stare.

Nana let out a small giggle. "My, Kyoya-kun, you've certainly grown into a fine young man!"

Kyoya only grunted in response.

"And to think that the same Kyoya-kun had asked for my son's hand back in Namimori!" Nana mentally squealed at the mental image it had drawn up.

Kyoya averted his gaze, preferring not to relive that moment. It was degrading, and embarrassing, but it had to be done. Without the approval of the matriarch of the Sawada household, the soon would be relationship would never be approved.

But that was then, and the consent was already given the A-OK from the petite brunette woman. All that was left now was for claiming the young President.

"I dug up my old connections with gay bar holders, and I seemed to have hit the jackpot with one!" Nana spoke enthusiastically. "In fact, I managed to smuggle it in the airport!"

Kyoya raised a brow at the mental image that he was given with the other's choice of words. He knew the woman before him was capable in any situation, but capable seemed to be rather understated.

"For the mother of the omnivore, you sure are daring, Sawada-san." Kyoya noted, his brow still raised.

Nana gave another giggle. "Oh, come now, Kyoya-kun! Call me Mama! After all I'll be your mother-in-law soon!"

She gave another squeal in delight as the male gave a resigned sigh, muttering his response quietly. "Only when we're in each other's company, Mama."

"It's progress!" Nana agreed, having heard perfectly clear. Her hearing was top-notch after all. "Now let me take out the bottle,"

She was about to search her luggage, but was interrupted with the door of the room opening. Nana looked up, pleasant smile in place, perfectly covering up her flustered self. She noted that Kyoya-kun gave a click of his tongue, resulting in her smile to grow bigger. "My, isn't that Takeshi-kun!"

Takeshi laughed, striding in towards the room. "Yo, Sawada-san! How's my old man?"

Nana sighed, almost dreamily, resting her cheek in the palm of her hand. "Tsuyoshi-san is doing wonderful, always so gentlemanly!"

"Haha, that definitely sounds like him!" Takeshi laughed cheerily.

"Hn, I'll be taking my leave then." Kyoya stated before heading off.

Nana gave a giggle as she noticed the sulking atmosphere around the young man. She called after him. "Thanks for escorting me to my room, Kyoya-kun, I promise I'll give you the present with the extra afterwards!"

Kyoya stopped, then proceeded to leave the room completely. Takeshi glanced at the two curiously, a brow raised. "Present?"

Nana smiled brightly. "Of course! I brought presents for everyone!"

Takeshi blinked, bewildered, then broke into a grin. "You really didn't have to, Sawada-san, but they're appreciated! Speaking of giving, we've hosted a party for your welcome home too! Let's go, everyone's waiting!"

Nana agreed, and left with Takeshi to head for the lobby.

* * *

 **Omake C**

Tsuna returned from the airport exhausted. He gave a sigh, dragging a hand down his face. Sometimes, just sometimes, he thinks that his mother's energy was endless. It could also be his imagination, but she was way more perky than when he was in Middle back in Japan. He pondered on the thought some more. "Maybe it's because tou-san is with her now?"

He gave a shrug and made his way to the kitchen. A nice cup of coffee would be nice before he decided some paperwork needed to be completed before he turned in.

Upon entering the kitchen, however, he slumped onto the bar counter, much too tired to even make a coffee for himself. "How did I even cope with over-energized energy again? ... Maybe it's just me getting old?"

"Omnivore," Tsuna jolted upright, eyes wide at his unexpected companion in the kitchen. Kyoya was leaning against the counter with, sipping a wonderfully smelling coffee. Tsuna's nose twitched, making his dehydrated stomach resort to growling.

"Kyoya! Please can you make me some coffee too?" Tsuna begged the slightly baffled male. " _Pretty please?_ I'm _dying_ of exhaustion here!"

He huffed, muttering to himself how he should not go anymore outings for a while, especially with the girls. Looks like he'll have to cancel their plan for next week, they'll understand.

"Omnivore," Tsuna looked up at the former Perfect back at Namimori High, half expecting a rejection for making coffee for him. "do you want sugar and milk in it as well?"

Tsuna perked up at the extended offer, grinning like he had won the lucky lottery. "Both please!"

Kyoya gave a nod and got the drink ready. It was then that Tsuna remembered the small box his mother gave him. "Ah, that's right! Kaa-san told me to give this to you,"

At the mention of the gift, Kyoya turned around, allowing the coffee to brew itself, and looked at the box being outstretched to him. It was purple with a light purple ribbon wrapping it up. He accepted it, opening the box up he was met with a watch face of an expensive brand.

"Well? What is it!" Glancing at the brunette in front of him he smirked, allowing the other to see the branded watch. The gaping face he was greeted with was amusing, allowing him to withdraw into his muttering phase. It gave him time to pluck the foamy covering, holding the watch in place, to see what he really wanted under it.

Taking it out, he dropped two of the small tablets into the coffee, stirring it until he dissolved the solid. He pocketed the bottle, adding the milk and sugar before presenting the coffee to the other male. "Here omnivore,"

Tsuna immediately snapped out of his mutters to perk up at the deliciously warm beverage. "Thanks, Kyoya!"

Kyoya watched as the brunette brought it to his lips, only to pause. Tsuna looked down at his beverage, slightly confused at why his hyper intuition was working up. There wasn't anything suspicious with the coffee... maybe it was Reborn being an utter ass with his bad mouthing behind his back. With a shrug, Tsuna took a good long sip of the drink, completely unaware of the wild look that Kyoya failed to suppress.


End file.
